Table Of Contents
The Thrilling Interior of What
You Are Presently Holding!
You Are Presently Holding!
Copyright Page
Rants & Ruminations [1]
By The Editors
Bunga And The Birth Of The First Butt-Baby
(Or, How I Learned Where My Pee-Pee Goes)
By Matt Ferretti
Doggy-Style
(Or, Bestiality Is Our Friend)
By Vadim Bystritski
Cheating For Dummies
(Or, How I Lost My Penis And/Or Clitoris)
By Tara Rubano
Why I Hate People
(Or, Why Natural Selection Should Be Enforced)
By Terri Kaufman
The Underpants Sniffer
(Or, I Like Crotch Rot)
By Marvin the Masturbating Math Monkey
The Joys Of Drinking
(Or, The Only Way I Can Ever Get Laid)
By Eric Caselton
The Brilliance Of James Dobson
(Or, The Homosexual Solution)
By Gary Oldroyd
Janus Gets Acne
(Or, A Comic)
By Tara Rubano
How To Slack At Work With Success
(Or, Why The Fuck Are They Paying Me?)
By Leeto
Cocaine Lullaby
(Or, I Swear I’m Not Colombian)
By Daniel Staib
Eight Completely Rational Reasons To Murder Your Roommates
(Or, Why Living With Others Sucks)
By Willy Nast
A Tail Of Space
(Or, Why Doing Too Much Crack Is Bad)
By J.B. Pravda
HORROR-SCOPES
(Or, Do What I Say Or Die)
By Mistress Coitus
A Scathing Review Of Crash
(Or, Racism Isn’t Always Fun)
By Gary Oldroyd
Comedy In Review – Dirtiest Sketch In LA
(Or, Playing With Shit Is Artistic!)
By Rick Paulas
Bar In Review – The Gold Room
(Or, Tacos And Tits Go Hand-in-Hand)
By Talib Burrell
Music In Review – My Musical Meanderings
(Or, Catch The Wave And You’re Sitting On Top Of The World)
By Justin Shay
Murder And The Rubber Weiner
(Or, Sex Toys Make Great Weapons)
By Brandon D. Christopher
The Almighty Fucktards
(Or, Who Wrote These Horrible Articles?)
By Us
Which Fucktard Am I?
(Or, Which Face Should I Punch?)
By Us
Cover Art by Vadim Bystritski
Rants & Ruminations [1]
By The Editors
Bunga And The Birth Of The First Butt-Baby
(Or, How I Learned Where My Pee-Pee Goes)
By Matt Ferretti
Doggy-Style
(Or, Bestiality Is Our Friend)
By Vadim Bystritski
Cheating For Dummies
(Or, How I Lost My Penis And/Or Clitoris)
By Tara Rubano
Why I Hate People
(Or, Why Natural Selection Should Be Enforced)
By Terri Kaufman
The Underpants Sniffer
(Or, I Like Crotch Rot)
By Marvin the Masturbating Math Monkey
The Joys Of Drinking
(Or, The Only Way I Can Ever Get Laid)
By Eric Caselton
The Brilliance Of James Dobson
(Or, The Homosexual Solution)
By Gary Oldroyd
Janus Gets Acne
(Or, A Comic)
By Tara Rubano
How To Slack At Work With Success
(Or, Why The Fuck Are They Paying Me?)
By Leeto
Cocaine Lullaby
(Or, I Swear I’m Not Colombian)
By Daniel Staib
Eight Completely Rational Reasons To Murder Your Roommates
(Or, Why Living With Others Sucks)
By Willy Nast
A Tail Of Space
(Or, Why Doing Too Much Crack Is Bad)
By J.B. Pravda
HORROR-SCOPES
(Or, Do What I Say Or Die)
By Mistress Coitus
A Scathing Review Of Crash
(Or, Racism Isn’t Always Fun)
By Gary Oldroyd
Comedy In Review – Dirtiest Sketch In LA
(Or, Playing With Shit Is Artistic!)
By Rick Paulas
Bar In Review – The Gold Room
(Or, Tacos And Tits Go Hand-in-Hand)
By Talib Burrell
Music In Review – My Musical Meanderings
(Or, Catch The Wave And You’re Sitting On Top Of The World)
By Justin Shay
Murder And The Rubber Weiner
(Or, Sex Toys Make Great Weapons)
By Brandon D. Christopher
The Almighty Fucktards
(Or, Who Wrote These Horrible Articles?)
By Us
Which Fucktard Am I?
(Or, Which Face Should I Punch?)
By Us
Cover Art by Vadim Bystritski
----------
[1]
As stated in the last issue, every goddamn, mother-fucking footnote you see, especially this one, has been placed there by the editors without consent or foreknowledge of the authors. And while we still feel no remorse about it, we have been giving more hugs to strangers. Mostly to feel their boobs and penises.back to the top
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