Cocaine Lullaby
By Daniel Staib
I was at the tail end of an unusually long day of boozing. An all day buffet binge of alcohol, sampling everything it had to offer from Jack & Jim mixed with coke, vodka-cranberry, to even gin-and-tonic -- which I wasn’t a fan of -- but when put in front of my face I politely drank. To pace myself, I consumed countless bottles of Budweiser and Newcastle, followed by the dreaded shots of Jose to finish the job.
“Last call!” the bartender mercifully shouted. I had a half-bottle of Bud left and then it was home for a much-deserved rest. It was one of those rare days that aren’t planned, but just happen.
It all started when I visited my friend Talib to watch the playoffs and celebrate his new writing gig for some TV show that I’d never heard of before.[1] To him it was a goal finally realized. His salary jumped into capital status, he could now sniff the top one percent. No longer would he be relegated as a renter, now he could be a homeowner. Money, power, respect, the deed of the American dream was now in his hands.
Talib and I were opposites; he a driven perfectionist in every aspect, right down to his perfectly manicured Afro which looked like something out of a blacksploitation film. He would receive two or three comments about it every time he went out. Girls would often ask to touch it and in return he would ask to touch their breast, mostly to show how stupid their request was, but I think deep down he really wanted to grope a breast or two. Really, what guy doesn’t? I, on the other hand, was barely keeping my head above water and possessed an extreme lack of vision and goals.[2] I think that’s why we were such good friends; we didn’t see the reflection of ourselves in each other eyes.
So with a fully-stocked bar of liquor and mixers, and riding the high of accomplishment, we indulged in drink after drink. I had never seen Talib this way, usually mild mannered and in control, but his gregarious behavior had a hand in creating the odd night that was to come.
“Not a bad day. Let’s slam these and go home.” I remarked to Talib. We touched bottles in salute and began finishing the last drink of the night. Just as I finished I felt a touch on my shoulder. I looked up and saw our friend Katia[4] smiling down upon me. She was with her friend Jez, I assumed it was short for something, but I never asked what. Katia was a freelance spirit with a freelance job. She worked according to her own schedule and pretty lived her life the same way. She translated subtitles and was enjoying her early thirties. She had an innocent way about her; sweet with a bad streak that gave her a quaint duality.[5]
Jez, I didn’t know too much about. I had met her once before, at a party with her boyfriend, were we shared a brief stare into each other’s eyes as we passed. You know that moment when you first really look at someone and try to figure out what you’re dealing with? My reaction was that she was sultry, men were her toys, and she knew how to get what she wanted. Although I wasn’t sure about my assessment, something told me buyer beware with this one. She had a body that attracted attention and a look of mischief. I was definitely attracted.
“Hey boys,” Katia said as she hugged Talib and me. Jez and I awkwardly hugged as well. They joined us at the table and the waitress quickly came over. Katia looked at us and asked if we wanted another. We, as gentlemen, accepted our lady friend’s request.
“How was the other side of the pond?” Talib asked. As Katia began describing her recent travels abroad, I felt my eyes wander towards Jez. I finally asked how she’d been. “Good, no complaints.”
I continued the drab small talk everyone must engage in before anything of substance could be discussed. “Where’s your boyfriend tonight?”
“He’s on vacation with some friends from college. Reliving the good ol’ days I guess.” Her face showed annoyance. “Where your girlfriend?” she asked. “I don’t have one.” She quickly remarked, “Smart.”
The small talk continued and we quickly guzzled our beers. “What are you doing after this?” asked Katia. Talib and I look at each other and shrugged. “I have to go meet a friend and pick up some coke, you guy’s want to throw in on some?”
A tempting proposition presented itself. Talib and I looked at each other. “Let’s leave it to fate,” I suggested and pulled out a quarter. “Heads, we use our brains and call it a night. Tails, we fly on the wings of cocaine. Agreed?” Talib nodded in approval and I flipped. It bounced off the table and we watched as the coin swirled to a stop. Here we were, supposed men, too chicken shit to make a decision we could take full responsibility for. “Well Talib, since you’re becoming an affluent citizen, might as well do affluent drugs.” I picked up the coin and we headed out.
We jumped into Katia’s car and headed to her dealer’s house. Katia asked Talib to go with her so her dealer wouldn’t take so long small talking her. I guess he was a lonely and always wanted to extend their relationship into an actual friendship.
“So you don’t do this a lot?” Jez asked as we waited. “No, it’s a rich man’s drug, and I don’t see all the hype over it.”
Talib and Katia walked back to the car and the nervous ride home commenced. The paranoia started in. Don’t let it be a cop, don’t let it be a cop, I said to myself whenever a car pulled behind us. We plowed through the gauntlet of main streets; first Sunset, then Los Feliz Blvd, as we made our way safely home to Atwater Village.
Katia began breaking out lines as Talib spoke, “I’m proud of ya tonight.”
“Why’s that?” I responded.
“Saw two hipsters enter the bar, thought you were gonna say something to them.”
“What are you guys talking about?” asked Katia. Talib bent down to take a line as he explained, “He doesn’t like hipsters, almost got into a fight with one last weekend.”
“Really, why?”
“This guy thought he ran the bar and thought he should get his drink before me because he had been waiting longer.” I explained.
“Why didn’t you fight?”
“I’m a man of peace. You can’t beat everybody up you don’t like.”[7]
“Oh, you are such a liar. If it wasn’t for that cop walking in, you were ready to throw down.” Talib laughingly spoke as he wiped his nose. “You missed some.” I responded sarcastically.
“Why don’t you like hipsters?”
“It’s not that I don’t like them, I just don’t like people dressing up like something they’re not, just to say they’re different, especially when they’re just caught in a bad trend. I went through the 80’s once, and that was bad enough.”
“Yeah, it was alright when it was a few, but now everyone’s doing it. It’s become played out.” Jez added.
“Plus they’re driving the rent up in Echo Park. You can’t get a place for under a grand anymore. It’s gentrification like a bitch here now. White people always have to ruin good neighborhoods. Next thing you know there’ll be a Starbucks and Jamba Juice on every corner.” Talib lamented.
It was true, though. I could see Echo Park changing for the worse; the mom and pop shops were on their last leg. New apartment complexes were popping up. It was just a matter of time before the poor Mexicans would be forced back down into deep East L.A. and be replaced by people dressed in bad eighties-wear strolling the streets with toy dogs where the fruit and hot-dog vendors once did business. God, what an ugly picture.
We were deep into the bag of coke when Talib and Katia mysteriously disappeared. I went to the bathroom to piss and gather myself. I recoiled when I saw myself in the mirror, I looked like a mess. The bags under my eyes were jet black and my nose was as red as Rudolph’s.
I opened the door to find Jez standing there and we had our second stare into each other’s eyes. They stayed locked as my hand reached for her hip, pulling her closer to me. She began kissing my neck as I rubbed up and down her thigh. I thought to myself I shouldn’t be doing this, but when I felt her ass those thoughts quickly flew south. I was on autopilot with my trusty friend. We groped and grabbed at each other, kissing sloppily without rhythm, just lust. I felt her undoing my belt and I slid her panties down. I thought of ripping them like some porno movie shit, but I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. I felt myself inside her; no condoms, no scruples. Oh well. Enjoy it while it lasts and hope you don’t crap out with a kid or disease. Her legs straddled me. She was light enough to lift up and down with ease. She began letting out quiet moans, hoping to keep this between us. She took off her shirt and I kissed and sucked on her chest. The intensity sweated out our pores, drenching us with desire of those passionate looks we gave each other, as things became harder and faster. We were coiled like two snakes molesting each other’s morals. It climaxed as I came and grabbed her tight against my body. We remained clinched and tight to one another, one last deep kiss before I slid out. She walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
I gathered myself and pulled up my pants. I walked out front and found no one. I broke the fattest line of the night and snorted it all down. I didn’t even try to comprehend the night or what just happened. I just had one thought racing through my mind: doing shady drugs, at shady hours, makes shady men out of all of us.
Jez came back and I got both of us a glass of water. The refreshing, pure liquid went past our numb mouths and down our soiled bodies. We talked and shared a couple laughs, but we knew we went too far. The morning sunlight pierced our eyes as we shared a cigarette, while eight church bells went off in the distance. “Should we go to confession?” I said. She didn’t look at me but replied “To the grave.” and extended her pinky. I accepted and she walked back inside and went to sleep.
I finished my smoke and stood up. I was a worse man than I was when I awoke that morning. Tomorrow, aspirin, water, and redemption would be on my to-do list. I stumbled back inside and crashed on the couch. I closed my eyes after a long cocaine lullaby.
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[2]
Except when it came to bestiality. He was oddly on the ball there.back up
[3]
See “Bar Review” for more tits (info).back up
[4]
See “The Penis Files” from Issue One.back up
[5]
And an incredibly floppy labia and black hole-like vagina.back up
[6]
As opposed to on her elbows?back up
[7]
Code for “I’m a giant pussy.”back up
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